Sunday, September 16, 2007

San Francisco: The Ugly City

It's official: San Francisco has the ugliest women in the United States. Yes, you heard me. I've been defending it for far too long, but I can't turn the blind eye on this fact anymore. Most of my friends do not fit in the ugly category; however, you cannot swing a cat in this city without hitting a female "alligator".

The last drop for me was in the supposedly hip and flashy club two nights ago. The club itself is great, which I cannot say about the crowd frequencing it. Really, not much to look at. But OK, that's just part of the nature and part of this city. What really irked me was watching women who are, let's be honest, barely a 5 on a 1 to 10 scale, dare to clamber the dance podium for a little show off dance. In just about any other city, they would be asked to step down immediately - although they'd never be let inside a top club, let alone on a stage. But not in San Francisco. These tired-looking 30-somethings were up above, trying to sway to the music in a sexy (read: awkward) manner, flashing their cellulite-ridden thighs and ugly bare feet. The lack of underwear on one of the women did not help matters at all, even if men were ogling her occasionally showing shaved vagina.

This is the sad, sad state of affairs. Unfortunately, this is not a newsflash at all. I have noticed lack of good-looking white women in San Francisco almost immediately after moving here 5 years ago. However, I always thought the abundance of better-looking Asian women made up for that. Well, not anymore. In cities like Los Angeles and New York, Asian women have to compete with white women for attention, hence they always do their absolute best to look their prettiest and sexiest. In San Francisco, Asian women, alas, dominate the social scene, and with the lack of such competition, they simply let themselves go more than absolutely necessary. Indiscriminate men, for the lack of a better option, have to get by.

In my opinion, there are several reasons for this unfortunate status quo. San Francisco has long reckoned itself to be an intellectual city, where people are valued for their brainpower and intellect rather than their looks. True, and fine by me, but why does one have to interfere with the other? Why can't intelligent women also be good-looking? Alas, it is no secret that it is rare. The ugly-betties of the USA come to San Francisco in hopes to be appreciated for their smarts, forgetting and forfeiting even the most elementary makeup and styling skills. But girls, intelligence can only get you so far. And you don't have to be born beautiful, either. Elementary tricks that every woman knows can apply a quick fix to this mess.

Another reason is the climate. San Francisco's naturally air-conditioned climate does not allow for skimpy outfits such as short skirts and tank tops. Women of beauty want to show off their bodies, but they cannot do so in San Francisco, where they have to wear thick jeans and fleeces just to keep themselves warm. So they simply move out to warmer parts of the country or never come to SF to begin with.

Finally, this city's enormous gay culture has got something to do with the overall ugliness of the female population. Since so many men are gay, women simply let themselves go and stop caring about their looks. On the other hand, lesbians, at least according to the sightings during the annual gay pride events, do not seem to care about other women's looks as much as men do. Want to see the ugliest women in the world? Forget Bulgaria, forget geriatric houses in Kazakhstan. Visit the Dyke March in San Francisco. I still get shivers from some of the specimen (or is it speci-women? who knows) there. Still, even the ugliest duckling in SF can rest assured that even if she never scores that tech support guy at the office, she can always start for the other team, where she'd be met with open embrace. Result? Again, the familiar indifference of women to their looks and unwillingness to do anything to enhance their appeal to the opposite sex - us.

Which is so ironic, considering that as a city, San Francisco is probably the most beautiful in the US. As one of my friends said, this is a BYOW city: Bring Your Own Woman. From the outside, that is.