Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Ladies of Football


Female football (soccer) World Cup just ended in China. Due to poor performance of American women and lack of interest to women's football in general, it received hardly any attention at all - contrary to men's World Cup, which is pretty much the biggest sports event on the planet.

Nevertheless, I went online and checked out the official site of the Cup, with team stats, history and information. Among other things, there were photos of each member of each team. Dear Almighty, what a horrendous sight...!

I mean, I've always suspected that pretty girls rarely do sports seriously - after all, which teenage cutie would like to be hit in the eye or nose with a bat or a ball. Back at college, any stocky, homely broad featuring a mullet was bound to be on a softball team. You cannot play sports wearing makeup, unless it's gymnastics or figure skating. Besides, sport means sweat, and girls think sweat is , ewww, gross... But you'd think there'd be at least an attempt to look their best on the part of the World Cup participants!

I took a closer look at the Asian teams. Japan, the country of supposedly cute Japanese girls... Out of 22 players (playerettes?), there was maximum 4 "doable" ones... The rest looked like dykes on steroids. Same with the Chinese team, only there were only about 2 that I would consider remotely attractive.

But the real shock was North Korean team. They say Korean women are the best looking in the Orient. Definitely not North Korea. I know about the famine and economic collapse, but you'd think they'd feed and nourish their national football team... which did fairly OK, by the way, even drawing with the US. But despite the fact that most players are 20-25 years old, they look like aged, wrinkled masculine types, without so much as a whiff of sexiness.

Other teams did not look much better, by the way. The only exception to me was Marta, the Brazilian starlet. To my disappointment, even the Brazilian girls looked kind of icky.

Perhaps if at least average looks were a requirement for a team membership, women's football would be far more popular than it is.